You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
