Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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