@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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