hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
