Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
