she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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