I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Randomize
