i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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