Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We had to coat check the pizza.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
