do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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