I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
