white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
