Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Randomize
