You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
