I think scott just propositioned me for sex
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
