And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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