New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
