So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i need an iv and a liver transplant
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
