dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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