God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
