FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
