so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
