is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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