hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
