I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
