Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Randomize
