He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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