You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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