Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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