So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Randomize
