You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Barsexuality is the new black.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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