: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i jhust puked up my retainher.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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