Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize