: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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