she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
