everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
