Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Randomize
