No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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