what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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