is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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