Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
