I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
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