So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
