her vagine was all disorganized.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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