Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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