Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
We named our party play list daddy issues
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
