I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
