Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Randomize