Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Blood and glitter go together right?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
