we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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