So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize