Plan B is the new Plan A
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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