Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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