Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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