so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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