I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
